I surrender, dear | a love letter to my imperfections.

I saw this while walking the streets of my neighborhood on a day that I wasn’t particularly doing too great at being “like water.” It was a 90 degree day and I couldn’t take Darya out for too long without her getting fussy, so we were cooped up in our apartment with house chores left undone and a teething 11 month old. It was one of those days that went by reallyyyyy slowly and I felt guilty about it wanting it to end and not being present.

Then I went for a walk when my husband came home (early, because I needed him too) and came across this. I took it as universe’s way of telling me to surrender to myself and to the imperfections of the day. I took it as a sign that its OKAY. That even those imperfect days, accepting them still means you’re being water. It’s the resisting it, the feeling guilty, and the wanting yourself to be perfect that hurts you even more than the struggles of the actual day.

So, dear imperfections,

I accept you when you come. Even when I don’t do a perfect job at accepting, I will accept that, too.  I believe that even you serve teachers and lessons teaching me to let go of my own need to be anything other than what I am in any particular moment.

My inspiration is a poem by my favorite poet, Rumi. It’s titled “Guest House”:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi

x,

L

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