My sun, My moon, & all my stars.

You guys, Darya turned O N E this past weekend and everything about it felt magical and emotional. I was actually surprised at how emotional it actually really made me. I found myself back tracking to the very first day of her life and those first few raw months of being a mom and how much I had grown from that first day. How much this tiny little human has taught me about myself and about what it means to live in LOVE. With. Everything. She is, to me, the meaning of unconditional unwavering undramatic love. And I want to give her the world.

We spent the day of her actual birthday just being together the three of us. And that was really sweet because it gave me the chance to actually absorb that it was her birthday instead of tending to guests and worrying about the decorations and etc etc. We were just in the moment with her that day and I loved every second of it.

We had our very closest family and friends celebrate with us on our rooftop here in Brooklyn the day after her birthday. And every vision that I had for her first birthday came to life. The birthday was “I Love Lucy” themed. I grew up on “I love lucy” being my favorite show and D actually ended up having the same birthday as Lucielle Ball, so it was only natural that we would take that route. The invitations read “We Love Darya” in a heart shaped balloon and the details to the party were written out on the balloon. Never mind that every detail of the party ended up changing including the date and location, but hey, that’s mom life right there, nothing is predictable. But I loved those invitations nevertheless and they set the tone for the party.

I was really happy for how the details came together. Thank you to BAKED in Brooklyn for the cake and cupcakes (LenasCakes for the heart fondant toppers), BK floral delight for her floral cake, Cakes by Danica for the heart shaped riced crispy treats, Sweet Paper Shop for the favor boxes, Harper Gray Design for the invitations, and to CarouselLane for her birthday hat. Most everything was heart-shaped and I really saw the vision I had in my mind come to life. Every part of the vision except for the one that she was pretty cranky the entire time! That definitely was not apart of the plan, but I get it, its so overwhelming for the kiddies. Heck, its overwhelming for the adults. So many people. So many noises. So much and too much of e v e r y t h i n g overwhelms their senses. Even when we took some family photos she was crying, which is not really like her, and at that point my friend Bitz started singing “It’s my birthday I can cry if I want to, cryyyy if I want to” so I sang it with her and rocked Darya back &  forth. It was yet another exercise in letting go. She is a person, my little person, and she has her ups and downs. All in all though, she did great.

Thank you to our friends and family for really being just the greatest group of people on this planet. I would be nowhere if not for them. Darya is blessed to have so many loving family members around her. She [and I] are also so blessed to have so many strong women around that come in the form of my very best friends. Honestly, I am beyoooooond grateful for each one of them. One of the things that I have been so conscious of this past year of motherhood was to still maintain my life outside of the role of just mom + wife. My girlfriends are women I know I could not live without and I need my daughter to be surrounded by strong, powerful, beautiful, loving role models like them. She is so lucky to have them in her life, they serve as my sisters and hers, as well. Ladies, never underestimate the power of good girlfriends. Maintain those relationships regardless of your relationship status. Good friends are e v e r y t h i n g. And it may be hard work to make time for your girls and go out with your girls when you’re a mama, but I promise it’s worth it and I promise you need it now more than ever. They will keep you strong, they will make you a better woman, which in turn makes you a better mama.

Lastly, happy birthday, my bebe Darya. Thank you for being you. I’m so proud of you for who you already are, and can’t wait to see who you continue to become as you evolve and as we evolve together. Baba + I love you oh so very much.


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just need love, just need love.

As parents, we often forget how important it is to keep feeding our own souls as individuals and continue to also water the plant that is our relationship. It can quickly become all about these little people you’ve created together, but sometimes it should also be about just the two of you, too. It can be one date night a week, maybe a quick getaway, anything that works. I know that for me, I really need the time with my husband and it makes me stronger as a woman, as a wife, and as a mother.

This past week we attended a coldplay concert together, and it was just carefree, beautiful, and fun. Coldplay’s songs have a way of moving through all of your emotions and giving life to each one: you’ll want to dance, stretch your arms out as if to fly, cry, and laugh all at once, and it was just what I needed to reset. Chris Martin performs with so much love and you feel like you can relate to his every word. He also took the time to pray for the world and mentioned Istanbul and Bangladesh, held up the French flag, and sent his love and energy into the world and asked the audience to do the same. Something about thousands upon thousands of people praying for the same thing, singing the same songs, and dancing to the same beats, is so magical and ever so moving.

It just served as a reminder that despite all the heart-wrenching events that happen around the world, there is still so much goodness in this world and we must hold on to it.

“we’re going to get it get it together right now
going to get it get it together somehow
going to get it get it together and flower.”





I surrender, dear | a love letter to my imperfections.

I saw this while walking the streets of my neighborhood on a day that I wasn’t particularly doing too great at being “like water.” It was a 90 degree day and I couldn’t take Darya out for too long without her getting fussy, so we were cooped up in our apartment with house chores left undone and a teething 11 month old. It was one of those days that went by reallyyyyy slowly and I felt guilty about it wanting it to end and not being present.

Then I went for a walk when my husband came home (early, because I needed him too) and came across this. I took it as universe’s way of telling me to surrender to myself and to the imperfections of the day. I took it as a sign that its OKAY. That even those imperfect days, accepting them still means you’re being water. It’s the resisting it, the feeling guilty, and the wanting yourself to be perfect that hurts you even more than the struggles of the actual day.

So, dear imperfections,

I accept you when you come. Even when I don’t do a perfect job at accepting, I will accept that, too.  I believe that even you serve teachers and lessons teaching me to let go of my own need to be anything other than what I am in any particular moment.

My inspiration is a poem by my favorite poet, Rumi. It’s titled “Guest House”:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi



Hold on to what is good.

In light of the recent tragic events in Nice, I’m making a pledge and a conscious decision to only pay attention to what is good. I am someone who is very impacted by world events. I think about them not just days after, but weeks, and even months later. I’ll think of the victims, their families, and I’ll wonder how they’re doing. I send my love and prayers toward them, and hope God keeps them strong. This recent event will be no different. My heart is with France, it has been, and will continue to be just as it is in Istanbul, Bangladesh, Orlando, Belgium,  and all of of the places that have been touched by evil.

But now, more than praying and sending light, I am going to BE the light. BE the love that we so desperately want to see more of in this world. I am going to choose to hang on to the things that bring me light and joy. I will allow [those] things, not the scary ones, to serve as my compass. Then I’m going to do my best to go out in the world and plant seeds from that joy. I’ll make the choice to live from a space of Love, and to not allow the world to replace my Love with Fear. Because it’s my choice, and yours, to still view this life as beautiful even when it can be very ugly. We owe it to our children to keep Love alive. To not give in to hatred with more hatred, or anger with more anger, or fear with more fear. We have to do the internal work first and start and end with love. Because anything less than that, will give evil the satisfaction it so desperately craves. Anything less than that will mean they’ve won. And they wont win. Not in my heart. Not in my soul.

#prayforpeace #bethepeace #spreadlove #belove

All my light and love to all lost souls & their grieving families.


Central Park Wandering + Pondering

This bebe is 11 months old. Everybody says how quickly the time will go, but you never really believe them. I can’t believe she will be one year in just a few short weeks. It’s been an adventure watching her grow, and watching myself grow into this new role. She has taught me so much, like how to ease up and take things slowly. How to simply slow down and BE.She’s made me stronger, wiser, better and has completely changed my life. Each day she teaches me a little bit more about being whole and complete. How to live and act from a place of love. How to show up in this world as a source of Love, only. How to always return back to that love as a place from which I receive energy, but also where I give it.

She teaches me to be patient by testing my limits, and has of course, taught me to be easy and adapt and just

B E. L I K E. W A T E R.

Outfit Deets: White Dress | Pinkyotto

Darya’s: Sweet William | Williamsburg, Brooklyn

All my love,


B E H I N D. T H E. S C E N E S.

Nobody can relate to perfection because it simply does not exist.

The truth about motherhood seldom portrayed on social media is that the house doesn’t always look perfect, the laundry isn’t always finished, and we don’t always have fresh flowers in the house although we try to. Sometimes the house becomes a mess, heck, sometimes YOU’RE a mess. A beautiful motherly kind of mess, though. And you learn to love this new version of yourself.

This picture shows Darya crawling away from me, and one (not mine) sitting next to me. It was taken after a full day out and about with the bebe and my friend, Malissa, and her baby, who were visiting from California. Initially the day started out very adventurous. We had grand plans for ourselves, but as you all know, making plans with babies is hilarious. In fact, you know how the saying goes” Life is when you make plans, and God laughs?”, well my new version of this is “Life is when you make plans, and babies laugh.” Like, honestly, you may do half of the things you intended to do for the day. More than likely, not even half, but some or even just one or two items off your to do list will be successfully checked off. But you know what? We laughed a lot that day.

Even though our big grand plans didn’t end up happening, we had a great day. We took it as it came our way. We basked in the moment with the babies and with each other. There was no resistance. Not. One. Bit.



Be like water.

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”

This Bruce Lee quote has served me well in life. It’s especially been helpful to me in my new role as a mother. I have always craved bodies of water. I have loved going to the ocean, not only to submerge myself but also just to observe it in it’s natural state. I could watch waves come and go, and feel my own anxieties release. This practice has always been able to calm me, nurture me, call me towards something bigger than myself, and strip me down to the essentials until only the raw-true-most vulnerable parts of me remain. The waves teach me lessons that only they could. They rise and crash, come and go, resist nothing, hold on to nothing. And when the waves settle, the water returns to itself, not phased and still. It goes back to stillness, and it keeps its stillness always. We are this way too, beyond the waves, the highs and lows of being human, we have a soul that is ever still. Ever at peace.

So, you see, I have always needed the ocean, and I created one just for myself, when I had my baby girl. My daughter’s name is Darya. It means “the sea” in Farsi. Bruce Lee says to be like water. And I will try, always, to be more like the [Darya].

This quote reminds me that water resists nothing, it simply adapts to it’s circumstances. As a mom, being able to adapt to the circumstances that arise and let go of the desire for perfection and just let go, in general, means being able to be present with my baby and patient when things don’t go my way. Perfection has never served me well, and the aiming for it, to be the best mom, the best wife, has not served me well either. Aiming for the intangible is ridiculous and at best, foolish. I’ve decided to give up on the quest to be the perfect mom, but rather to be the best mom I can be. To enjoy the moments with my daughter as they pass me rapidly, without getting lost in my own insecurities. The best moments as a mom are often ones that come from letting go. Laughing in moments that make you want to cry (she’s at this stage where she spits out her food and throws it to the ground and start’s laughing.) I know I have a lot of cleaning up to do and I really want her to eat, but maybe I can laugh with her. She’s being silly. She’s exploring her world. Its a precious time and so its okay not all meal times will go smoothly, not all naps will be long, I just remind myself to become like the Darya, I will be easy, I will flow, I won’t resist.

I’ll let go. I’ll go back to the stillness that is both her, and I. I’ll let the moments come and go without judgement. I’ll be like Darya.




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